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Simon Cowell sets up orphan top of the pops in Texas

7 Jul

Some would say its a step too close to the mark, setting orphans to compete against each other, popstar deathmatch style, but thats the latest idea from mr. tightpants cowell, or some dude thats going round in his facemask. Said to be a step away from cartman’s “crack baby basketball” the show will be housed in a converted orphanarium, with house-elves, chicken stew swimming pools and far, far, far to many high fives. What is happening. Anyway grab a Simon Cowell mask, lets cowell it up people.


Colin Firth Eats an Elephant leg in restaurant

5 Jul

Colin firth was said to be seen in a south indian restaurant today with a whole elephants leg to himself, the greedy bastard. Wait no thats a lie. Anyway Today I will be mostly wearing colin firths face, in the form of a facemask printed onto cardboard. Wearing the face of a celebrity can be a liberating experience, especially if you are already a celebrity, because then whatever you do will be seen as being done by the other celebrity that you are impersonating. Its like the solution to all famous peoples life problems. Pretty soon youll see colin firth walking down the street but when you go to talk to him about the kings speech or love actually youll hear a deep voice from behind his face and realise its densil washington just messing with you.

Prince Charles Facemaskage

4 Jul

Ohhhh I do say, a spot of shooting? Driving the mondeo around the estate? good shout. Er no, what? Even chav’s can be prince charles today, well any day, thanks to the effervescent timeless prince charles facemask…hahah…gotta get me one of those, gonna bo selecta it up to his house and get past the guards with it, kiss camilla!

Gaga Face mask

2 Jul


Was lady gaga the founder of the celebrity face mask? The cardboard face ones I mean. Before her it seemed like all there was, was rubber faced NIXON masks and Ali G pullovers. They used to be just for halloween but has gaga changed it all? Is she still a man? Who knows, thats the wonderful unknowing world of Celebrity Masks!!